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Murder and Crazy Part 2: Damned Frogs

So after Spade pimped us out and got us working for that overblown jester, we headed back to thrashguy Eric’s place in order to look for some more clues. Spade gave the place another quick once over but he didn’t really find out much more. Luckily Ace, Majid and Blue decided to go round the block in order to ask around to see if the neighbors had seen or heard anything. Thanks to this, they figured out that the dude was married to some dame named Linda. Even had a kid together. But Linda was also shacking round with the butcher so it wasn’t exactly a happy marriage.

We decided to go and check out the butcher’s place next, to see if his old lady was there. Naturally seeing as it was already late, he wasn’t really that keen on visitors. We asked him nicely if he had seen Linda, but he said he didn’t so we let him go. At least we would have, was it not for the fact that Majid picked up on the fact that he was just full o’ shit. Thus Spade wanted to go steaky and take a look round back. Now apparently going in sneaky means lets all go together and hope no one messes up. I could already see that this was gonna end badly and thus decided that it was better to just wait at the front door for the inevitable. I think Ace also saw what was gonna go down, as she stayed with me. But that was only for like half a minute before she got impatient and followed the rest. Luckily I did not have to wait long before shit hit the dragon as Spade started yelling for help. Let me give ya another of my lessons here. Don’t sneak with an army! When ya gotta go sneak, do it with as few folks as possible. Cause the more people ya take with ya, the more likely that someone will muck things up and ya’ll get spotted. So either go by yerself if ye’re confident, or go with at most 2 others. Never more than that or it’s not a matter of if you fuck up, but when ye’ll fuck up.

But yeah, Spade was yelling for help. Thus I kicked in the door and raced for the back of the shop. Now let me paint ya a picture of what I saw when I got to the rest. Majid had a nasty gash around his shoulder, Blue was getting pummeled by the wife holding a rolling pin and the butcher was waving his cleaver around. Seeing that I had no choice but to get the blood flowing and charging into the butcher to beat him into submission. Problem was that they had just managed to talk him down. That’s me second lesson bout stealth missions. Don’t blame the other guys when ya go sneak and fail to inform said guys when things change. Communication is important. If ya scream for help, I’m not gonna ask questions bout who I should or shouldn’t punch. After a while, with Majid and Blue holding me back, I calmed down a bit and we got started on questioning the wife.

I’m not gonna bore ya to much with the specific questions that were asked, but eventually they slipped up while arguing amongst themselves and she confessed that she killed her husband in order to steal the sword. See she knew that he was gonna leave her with the money he could have gotten when selling the sword and decided to beat him to the punch. There was some discussion about what to do with them after that. First instinct was to hand em over to Brand as that was what we was getting paid for. Wasn’t really to keen on that as the dude is bad shit crazy, but I gots what ya might call professional integrity. See that’s why I like to pick my own jobs. Majid wanted to let them go as he didn’t want to have the babe grow up without a mom but we weren’t really seeing that. If ya do the crime and get caught, ya gotta do the fine. But seems that the laws changed a bit as the was afraid they’d get the axe for it. But before we could make a final call, we first had to retrieve the sword.

The butcher, Nelson was his name I think, took us down to his basement where he had hidden the sword. Yanika and Ace decided to stay behind to keep an eye on the wife. He had hidden the sword with some giant centipede like thing that he had caught some years back. Thing was massive is what I’m saying. But it was chained up and he corralled it into submission. Felt sorry for the critter at that and was wondering what to do with it, when he suddenly says that the sword was gone again. I remember thinking that if that thing had already made its way back to Torrok, that I would be really pissed. Spade and Majid however decided to look for tracks to see if someone stole it. And lo and behold, they actually managed to find a hidden door. One that leads to the sewers with some fresh tracks behind it. Now them said that they would quickly scout it out to see if they could get an idea on who took it and ventured into the tunnel by themselves. I member thinking that that was probably a bad idea. And I was proven right very quickly when I heard a roar coming from said tunnel. Nother lesson and another reason as to why I don’t like sneak mission: when things go wrong while sneaking, they reeeally go wrong. Yer separated from yer group and on yer own and yer group only has a limited idea of what is going down. Most of the time it’s not worth it.

Now seeing as Scruffy was shooting magic into the tunnel and Spade was carrying an unconscious Majid back into the basement, I knew that things had really gone to shit. So I charged in only to see Blue tangling with a frog that was as big as a house. Now the tunnel wasn’t as big so I figured I would simple grab Blue and get him out of reach of the frog. But at that point the frog slapped him with his tongue and that was lights out for Blue. So plan A was out the window, so I simple charged in. now along with Scruffy and his spells, we managed to take down the frog and its owner, some kind of gray troll thing or something of the like, only for another frog to jump in. Now I gave it a good blow, but I had to be careful of Blue lying at my feet, so it wasn’t as hard as I wanted it. And yeah the frog grabbed hold of me. I knew what was gonna happen next, so I tried to give it a last wallop to take it out, but I just couldn’t get a good hit in. And then it swallowed me just like I thought and it was lights out.

Yeah, laugh it up, I the mighty barbarian got swallowed up by a giant frog. See I don’t really care about it anymore as I’ve risen above that. Mind you at the time I felt really embarrassed about, ya know a good blow to the ego. But we all need one of those from time to time. Keeps us grounded and now when I look back at it and I start laughing myself at it. Cause ya see, ya gotta know that there are fights where ya lose like with those goblins where just thinking about it PISSES YOU OFF and then there are fights like with the frog that are so ridiculous that ya can’t help but laugh at it. Cause ya gotta know and out of all ma lessons that I’m gonna teach ya, this one might me the most important. A man is judged not just by his successes in life, but also by his failings. And while success is as light as a feather, failure is as heavy as the tallest mountain. So it takes a strong man to be able to own up to those failures in order to gain more success in life. And I’ve chosen not to hide from my failings. And when I die, probably younger than older, I will have but one wish. And that is that those who know of me tell my tale to those who ask and tell it truly. The ill deeds along with the good. my highs as well as my lows and let me judged accordingly. And the rest is silence.

But enough about that heavy handed stuff. After I came to, I learned that Nelson the butcher and Linda the wife tried to make a run for it in the confusion. But like I said before , don’t underestimate women just because they’re women. Yanika and Ace quickly put a stop to that and tied them down. Also managed to bring us back from the brink of that. After that we agreed that we would simple give them to the guards and have them confess and wrap it up.

It was however at this point that a bad habit of Spade reared its head. See he likes to make things overly complicated and decided that we should tell Brand that those troll things were in fact the ones who killed the thrashguy. Something about Jester cleaning up the sewers. He figured that Kester probably wouldn’t be able to figure out that the real culprits were arrested by the guards. Sounded to me like a recipe for disaster, but hey its his show and as I said I wasn’t feeling to excellent at the time to argue to much about it. So we decided to call it a day, hand off those two to the guards and give the kid to the temple when we would go to check out those devilmarks from earlier and in the morning go to the Jester. That is until Ace touched this crystal ball that was in the basement and several of these little ice devils appeared.

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