Ok, where was I? Right, the raid on the gangs hideout. Well I would like to say that upon discovering Torrok’s fate, we rallied together, busted some skulls and saved him. But I did promise ya to tell ya the truth so yeah that was not really what happened.
See there’s one thing that will always happen when a diverse group of capable blokes comes together for the first time and they have to work together to get shit done. And that is a pissing contest in order to establish a pecking order. See we each had our own ideas on what was the best thing that we could do. Some of us wanted to attack them head on while others were less inclined to do so and instead wanted to do sneaky stuff, which is fine on its own, but not as fun. Now these pissing contests usually last until someone is fed up with it all and simple establishes what should happen. For us that was Yanika. She told us to get our shit together and stop wining like new born pups so that we could actually get some work done. I had no problem following her plan cause as I had already established, she seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. Also she actually seemed to know what she was talking about, so there ya go. And yes I know the stereotype of big muscular macho men not being willing to listen to a girl telling him what to do, but I’m not like that. See I am completely secure enough in my masculinity to admit when a woman is better at something than me. And that’s cause I’ve known for a very long time that a woman can be just as badass an ass kicker as any man. In fact, one of the strongest people I know happens to be a woman. And I can say without a doubt that even now that she is in her doting age, past her prime, covered in wrinkles with a hip that creaks whenever she has to get up from her chair, she’d still have a good chance to kick my ass if we were to fight, so there you go. But just between you and me, let’s leave that stuff of her being past her prime out of your book.
Anyway, following Yanika’s lead, we made our way to the hideout. And after getting a hobo to move, I busted down the door. Oh don’t look at me like that. I properly paid the man some coin and asked him to find a better sleeping spot. So after kicking down the door, we rushed in only to find that there was nothing there. We searched around a bit until we heard a ruckus coming from upstairs. Apparently according to Yanika, some gobs where laughing about how they were torturing some guy. Upon hearing that, we rushed upstairs only to find a plague of gobs and those weird ugly gnomelike things torturing a poor defenseless Otyugh that was trapped in a cage. Yeah that pissed me of, so I cracked my neck and thought to myself: hells, this is gonna be fun. Unfortunately that fight didn’t really go as planned and it went to shit faster than a keg of ale in a dwarven stag party.
First up was Majid who bravely charged into a clutter of the little bastards. His blades slashing left and right as he cut them down only for him to be quickly overrun by scores of Gobs as well as the ugly gnomethings. You know what I’m just gonna call them ugnomes for short. So yeah Majid was down. Next up was Atlas, no Atlais, no Aitl ah fuck it Blue, the next one to go down was Blue. He was fending of some Gobs that were trying to flank us from the other side of the cage when he got skewered by some arrows. It was also at this point that I learned that Zebulor was in fact not just some hobo they just pulled of the street and that he was actually good for something. Cause ya see, he was a magic hobo and he used his magic to blast some of the gobs that did in poor Majid. But there’s not much you can do against those numbers in an open room like that. Especially when you are still exhausted from relocating a kitten to the outside of town, while covered in the wounds of a previous fight. So after I cut down a good chunk of them, I went down. And that brings me to Kayne’s great life lessons number three. There are gonna times when you lose a fight. It happens, in fact it would be pretty boring if It didn’t happen because that would mean that there was no longer any fun to be had as fights without stakes are boring. But when you lose, it’s important to stay calm and accept your defeat with grace. Even when you just wanna go and find the little bastards so YOU CAN RIP OF THEIR TINY LITTLE GREEN HEADS FROM THEIR SHOULDERS UNTIL THE ENTIRE ROOM IS COVERED BY BLOOD AND GORE, you gotta move past that. You gotta channel that anger and use it to motivate you into getting stronger. So that next time you can grab them by their scrAPPY LITTLE NECKS AND VIOLANTLY SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF THEM SO THAT THEIR BEADY LITTLE EYES POP OUT OF THEIR BLOODY SKULLS. You gotta huuuuh stay huuuuh focused on the now and not the future.
But anyway, I’m guessing that you want to know how we got out of that little scrap intact. Well when I regained consciousness, I was treated to the sight of Yanika teaching the Otyugh to respond to her commands by whistling. So I have a pretty clear picture of what went down. See obviously, Yanika must have ordered Spade to open the cage of the otyugh. This allowed her to enter said cage and tame the beast using her natural charisma and personal magnetism. Following that she must have climbed on top of its back, so that she could tide it as a beast of war. Getting it to charge into the remaining gobs and ugnomes. All the while giving orders to rally the rest in order to turn the tides of the battle in our favor. Clear as day.
After we had all recovered, we decided to head to the basement through a small hatch on the ground floor, this time a bit more sneaky at behest of Spade and Majid. And let me tell ya, ya cannot believe how dark it was down in there. I mean it took me quit some time in order for my eyes to get adjusted to the utter darkness of it all. Deeper down in the basement, we found some new hobs that were quickly taken down by Majid who wanted to try out his new mace, that we found on the top floor and Blue who kicked the teeth in of the one that Majid left standing. After that we took a look around and found two things. One was a hatch that lead to the street, and one was a suspicious looking door. So I placed myself in front of it so that when it opened, I could rush in and strike down however was on the other side.
Unfortunately that guy had the same idea and when Yanika used magic to open the door, I was treated to the sight of this big ugly armored bugbear who quickly and firmly planted his sword into my gut. And that bugger was a sharp one too. So we exchanged several blows after that and let me tell you that guy was a lot tougher than he looked and he looked pretty tough. I mean they told us that the boss was a wizard, but he don’t fight like no wizard that I know of. Sadly eventually I took another bad blow and I went down. Now I was still pissed off from the previous fight and as things turned dark in front of me, I yelled to myself: Kayne you no good jackass, stop lying there like a pansy boy feeling sorry for yourself and get back up so you can smash his face in. And that is what I did. I got back up to my feet, grabbed my maul firmly and proceeded to smash it into his face. Now the sight of me getting back up from a wound that would have killed a lesser man, as well as Blue and Majik proceeding to flank him, must have thoroughly spooked him because the yellow bellied pissant decided to then use his magic in order to get away. PISSED! ME! OFF! After I realized he was gone, I was already counting the seconds until I could get my revenge on him.
With the enemy gone, we found Torrok lying on top of some weird altar, heavily wounded and beaten down. There were also some kind of marking on the wall off a pyramid with some weird symbols on the wall. The strange thing was that a couple of days before this I actually saw a similar pyramid like it in my dreams. But at the time I simple shrugged it off. Beside that Yanika also found some old book written in a weird language that none of us could read. Luckily there was a notebook there that explained that it was about some Dwarven clan of old that had settled here in the past and apparently the Pissant was trying to find the location of said clan. It was at that point that that the rest decided to get Torrok back to Ace and Spade’s place, while I went out to correct a slight mistake I had made.
See Ace had told me that the kitten I had released was not from around here and that it would probably not be able to survive. Thus I decided to go find it and rescue it. I mean I couldn’t get over my heart to abandon it out there in the cold. Luckily after searching for a while, I found it hiding in a cave and managed to bring it back with me. But seeing as I still couldn’t keep it, I decided it would be best to leave it at the Reverie. I figured they could probably take better care of it than me. So with a heavy heart, I gave it to the boss there, the lord of masks. Nice bloke that one, he even gave me two tickets for the show after I refused to accept coin for the kitty. Now the tickets I gave to Spade along with some minor tips so he could make a romantic gesture for Ace. This also brings me to the fourth of Kayne’s great life lessons. We often find ourselves in shitty situations, but that does not mean we need to be shitty people. Always remember to keep one hand open so you can extend the warm hand of friendship to those who need it. And always keep one hand clenched in a fist so you can punch those who deserve it in the face.
After that I found my way back to Ace and Spade’s place where Torrok was starting to wake up. Upon which he gave us the full story. See Torrok came from the far down south where he was an adventurer who specialized in graverobbing. And one day, while exploring an old pyramid he found, he came across the silver sword that that gang had wanted. Apparently, the sword is cursed which causes Torrok to have prophetic dreams whenever he sleeps in the same room as it. it was through those dreams that he came to find us as he believed that it was his destiny to bring the sword to us. Also said sword can make a silvery liquid when you dip it in water. The same liquid that Yanika found earlier and which apparently is not used to turn metal into silver. Instead you can rub it onto a mirror in order to see a prophecy of some sort. Upon hearing that explanation, I decided that I as beat for the day as the sun had started to rise and I had been up for a while. So I took my leave and back home. While thinking to myself that I might just go catch a show at the Reverie later that night.
And that is how I met the rest of the gang and how our adventure together started. And I gotta say, you ain’t heard nothing yet. So why don’t you buy me another drink? And I’ll tell ya some more.